What It’s Like to Give a TEDx Talk (And Why I Did It Anyway)

I'm not sure if I realized I was anxious about the TEDx talk before or after I said “yes.” I’m definitely sure that whenever that anxiety started, it launched me into a whirling set of emotions and reflections. 

I knew I wanted to do a talk about mental health in the workplace. I didn’t know I’d need to do some unpacking and re-packing of my own “stuff” in order to do it. 

Let me explain: I knew I'd need to take this assignment seriously. But it wasn’t until I put pen to paper to write it, that I started to realize how much effort this was going to take. Even worse, when I tried to memorize some of what I'd written, I realized I may be in trouble.  

Did I have the skills to do this really well? Did I actually care enough to put in the effort to do what it takes? And if I did put in the effort, what if I sucked anyway? I went through some paralysis. I wondered if I could just wing it. I thought about shortcuts. What about teleprompter smart glasses? I had a few moments of telling myself, “meh, I don’t care. It’s not a big deal.” Then I thought about just pulling out and canceling.  

If this sounds confusing as you’re reading it, good, it should, because it was confusing as I was living it, and trying to sort it.  

And then, after sitting in the garden with my dog Kobe, doing some real reflection, I acknowledged something: 

I do really care about this.

I want to do a good job.

I think I can do a good job.

So, I admitted to myself I was chasing an A+ on the assignment. And I committed myself to doing my best, to putting whatever effort and process was necessary so that when I walked out to that famous red dot, no matter how I performed, I'd be able to look at myself in the mirror and know I did my literal best. 

That clarity was powerful. And it set me to work. My steps were serious, focused, and scheduled like any good work.

Coaching Experts

Once I had a basic outline for my talk, I attended a coaching session with an expert in public speaking and TED talks (@BrianMiller); I soaked in every bit of his advice that I could. I collaborated with my writing partner to hone my script. I asked for additional input from podcast coach, Joe Ferraro, and leadership coach and keynote speaker, Monica Kang.  

Writing & Rewriting My Script 

I built time into my calendar to work on my script over a span of four weeks. I can say definitively, my final script was a collaborative effort, and far better than I ever could’ve written solo. 

Practicing, Practicing, Practicing 

I committed to practicing my script three times a day (yes, you read that right!) for the five weeks leading up to TEDx presentation day. I set up a series of audiences with friends and gave my talk to anyone willing to listen. Yet again, self-doubt hit, thoughts of shortcuts, ways out. I dealt with swirling dissonant, negative thoughts: “I’ll never be able to speak this as well as it is written. Maybe I should bail on the whole thing.” Then I went back to the mirror, back to my original commitment: Do. The. Work.  

I kept practicing. After two more weeks had passed, I was really feeling bad for my kids and wife – how many more times would they need to sit on the couch as I practice? How many more times would I need to tell my youngest, “Finn, yes, I'll play ping pong with you, but you have to help me practice my TEDx Talk before we play, and after.” Thankfully, they tolerated me, and they helped me. Kobe was also great, as we’d go on walks and I'd be practicing my speech out loud, or listening to it in my AirPods. He seemed to accept my odd behavior and my lack of engagement as long as I remembered to bring plenty of treats. I practiced at my friend’s front porch; they set up a little audience of two chairs and a little sign that said TEDx Talk. I spoke my talk to the pool, to the trees, to the air.  

I was getting better...and then I'd slip backwards.  

I used some neuro-science tricks (caffeine after studying, rather than before, and immerse cold shock after studying to lock in the memories), and I got an amazing piece of guidance from a powerful mentor in my life, my eldest sister Lisa. She told me to be careful not to over prepare and explained some aspects of how the mind works with memory and performance. I took heed. I slowed down. In the final week, instead of practicing every day, I cut my practice time in half, practicing every other. I was almost there. 

Living My Topic 

Whoa, I realized the day before my talk, that I was in so deep, I was actually living my topic. I had made giving this TEDx my job, so this preparation was my workplace. In this land, I had to deal with all my glitches and struggles to accomplish my goal. My operating system. And to be successful, I needed to look in the mirror, understand my glitches holding me back from my best performance. Thankfully, I grabbed a book off my shelf that I knew would help me – Brian Levinson’s Shift Your Mind: Nine Mental Shifts to Thrive in Preparation and Performance. The wisdom Brian shares in the book gave me the clarity I needed to work through some final struggles and be prepared to perform at my best level on the soon to arrive TED day. 

How Did I Do?

Was my best good enough? I felt good walking off stage. Do I have self-criticism? Of course. But I felt like I had given it my all, like it was literally, my best. As for good enough for you? Well, that’s for you to decide if and when you watch the talk. I would love to hear what you think.

Watch My TEDx Talk